* NOTE FROM THE AUTHOR *
Hello, dear readers & welcome back!
It's been a long time, hasn't it? Knoxby & friends were cut off for a bit due to the Lumprotter taking over the Downs and not letting anyone come or go.
We learned that when a Lumprotter throws a fit, it can last a very long time. The Lumprotter's rot spread far and wide. He refused to reign it in. Everyone begged, pleaded, shouted and even (gently) hit the Lumprotter with a bit of magic. The rot remained and the Lumprotter grew ever more stubborn.
The Gibbering Mouse is a patient little creature, but eventually, patience runs out.
One morning, the Gibbering Mouse woke up in a rage. He hadn't seen his family in a long time and his food supply ran out many months ago. Nibbling on tree bark will only curb your hunger for just so long. He stomped up to the Lumprotter and demanded the rot be removed that very instant. The Lumprotter placed his pink pudgy hands over his ears and turned away.
The Gibbering Mouse would have none of it. He was going to visit his family and get a decent meal in his belly today. He knew everyone in Merrihaven had tried everything they could think of to get the Lumprotter to pull the rot back. What could he do? He was small in stature and not strong enough to push the Lumprotter off his stump. He thought for a minute as he studied the enormous pink blob that was the Lumprotter.
Push him off his stump, he thought. He gasped. That's it. With a knowing smile, he rubbed his tiny paws together and ran around the Lumprotter. The Gibbbering Mouse looked up, but the squishy pink blob of a creature paid him no mind. He extended his tiny claws, then as hard as he could, gave the Lumprotter's enormous rear end a pinch.
The Lumprotter jumped in surprise and rubbed his bottom. "Stop that," he growled. "Or I'll cover you in rot."
The Gibbering Mouse snickered. The pinch had the effect he was looking for, but it wasn't good enough. The Lumprotter remained on the stump. He pinched again and again. The Lumprotter hopped up and down and shifted this way and that to get away. The Gibbering Mouse pinched hard and fast, until the Lumprotter fell off his stump and begged for mercy.
"Alright. Alright. I give in," he said. "No more pinches. I will pull the rot back." He waved his hand. "It will take a while to come back to me."
For good measure, The Gibbering Mouse stomped up to the Lumprotter's eye. He extended his claws and made it look like he was about to pinch him again.
The Lumprotter covered his face. "No. No more."
The Gibbering Mouse ran back to his hidey-hole to wait for the rot to disappear.
* Thanks to the Gibbering Mouse things should return to normal. Knoxby, Hodgenock and even, Bonedread should have regular updates for you very soon. For now, leave you with a small recipe from Knoxby that was hand delivered by a very curious pixie (more on that later).
__________________________________
Knoxby's Kuisine - Bog Ale Biscuits
1 pound of sand from Thunder Run River. (This sand has the consistency of flour. Knoxby says it's quite tasty, but I wouldn't trust it.)
Half a pound pond scum. Make sure to dry the scum in the sun for 48 hours before use. It will turn dry and crumbly; the perfect consistency for Bog Ale Biscuits.
A large jug of Bog Ale. Make sure to get it from the Harpy at the Quiet Harpy Inn. It's the tastiest ale you'll ever shove down your gullet.
Wild Garlic. The Downs is full of wild garlic, if you know where to look. Pick an armload full, smash the leaves to bits and dump those bits into your mixture.
Now comes the fun part. Grab your biscuit mix. Pound and roll it until it's a big slimy ball. Chop into as many biscuits as you like. Place the biscuits into a pan and set over an open fire until they turn a green-ish brown color. Let cool. You don't want to burn your tongue on the pond scum.
(*Knoxby's recipes are not real. Children should not use fire, the stove or other
appliances or sharp objects without parental supervision.)
Hello, dear readers & welcome back!
It's been a long time, hasn't it? Knoxby & friends were cut off for a bit due to the Lumprotter taking over the Downs and not letting anyone come or go.
We learned that when a Lumprotter throws a fit, it can last a very long time. The Lumprotter's rot spread far and wide. He refused to reign it in. Everyone begged, pleaded, shouted and even (gently) hit the Lumprotter with a bit of magic. The rot remained and the Lumprotter grew ever more stubborn.
The Gibbering Mouse is a patient little creature, but eventually, patience runs out.
One morning, the Gibbering Mouse woke up in a rage. He hadn't seen his family in a long time and his food supply ran out many months ago. Nibbling on tree bark will only curb your hunger for just so long. He stomped up to the Lumprotter and demanded the rot be removed that very instant. The Lumprotter placed his pink pudgy hands over his ears and turned away.
The Gibbering Mouse would have none of it. He was going to visit his family and get a decent meal in his belly today. He knew everyone in Merrihaven had tried everything they could think of to get the Lumprotter to pull the rot back. What could he do? He was small in stature and not strong enough to push the Lumprotter off his stump. He thought for a minute as he studied the enormous pink blob that was the Lumprotter.
Push him off his stump, he thought. He gasped. That's it. With a knowing smile, he rubbed his tiny paws together and ran around the Lumprotter. The Gibbbering Mouse looked up, but the squishy pink blob of a creature paid him no mind. He extended his tiny claws, then as hard as he could, gave the Lumprotter's enormous rear end a pinch.
The Lumprotter jumped in surprise and rubbed his bottom. "Stop that," he growled. "Or I'll cover you in rot."
The Gibbering Mouse snickered. The pinch had the effect he was looking for, but it wasn't good enough. The Lumprotter remained on the stump. He pinched again and again. The Lumprotter hopped up and down and shifted this way and that to get away. The Gibbering Mouse pinched hard and fast, until the Lumprotter fell off his stump and begged for mercy.
"Alright. Alright. I give in," he said. "No more pinches. I will pull the rot back." He waved his hand. "It will take a while to come back to me."
For good measure, The Gibbering Mouse stomped up to the Lumprotter's eye. He extended his claws and made it look like he was about to pinch him again.
The Lumprotter covered his face. "No. No more."
The Gibbering Mouse ran back to his hidey-hole to wait for the rot to disappear.
* Thanks to the Gibbering Mouse things should return to normal. Knoxby, Hodgenock and even, Bonedread should have regular updates for you very soon. For now, leave you with a small recipe from Knoxby that was hand delivered by a very curious pixie (more on that later).
__________________________________
Knoxby's Kuisine - Bog Ale Biscuits
1 pound of sand from Thunder Run River. (This sand has the consistency of flour. Knoxby says it's quite tasty, but I wouldn't trust it.)
Half a pound pond scum. Make sure to dry the scum in the sun for 48 hours before use. It will turn dry and crumbly; the perfect consistency for Bog Ale Biscuits.
A large jug of Bog Ale. Make sure to get it from the Harpy at the Quiet Harpy Inn. It's the tastiest ale you'll ever shove down your gullet.
Wild Garlic. The Downs is full of wild garlic, if you know where to look. Pick an armload full, smash the leaves to bits and dump those bits into your mixture.
Now comes the fun part. Grab your biscuit mix. Pound and roll it until it's a big slimy ball. Chop into as many biscuits as you like. Place the biscuits into a pan and set over an open fire until they turn a green-ish brown color. Let cool. You don't want to burn your tongue on the pond scum.
(*Knoxby's recipes are not real. Children should not use fire, the stove or other
appliances or sharp objects without parental supervision.)