It's great to be back and I have a fantastic recipe to share with you.
Nodrik and his brothers to showed me how to make this cake over the holidays.
I have tweaked it troll-style just for you. You're going to love it.
Enchanted Lemon Ginger Cake
1 glob of butter.
*A glob would be how much you can fit into your hand. My hands are pretty big and I like alot of butter.*
1 bowl of sugar.
*I'm sure the gnomes explained how much sugar to put in, but I was too busy licking the batter to hear it, so we're going to go with a bowl.*
2 large eggs
*I didn't have any eggs and the kitchen was all out, but luckily I found some in the Pinkstone brothers' workshop. They were marked, "Boobrie", and looked pretty old. The older the egg, the tastier, I say. I don't think the brothers will mind.*
Swamp Slime (or molasses)
* I had to ask one of the gnomes about this particular ingredient, because trolls don't use molasses. From the description, the closest I could get was swamp slime.*
Frou Frou Flower (or lemon zest)
*This is another ingedient that trolls don't usually have on hand. A pixie brought me some type of flower. I forgot the name of it, so we'll just call it a frou frou flower. When I squeezed it, it smelled and tasted like lemon. If you're out of lemons, find yourself a froufrou flower.
1 Bag of flour
* I asked Wunder and Bertha to bring some sand from the edge of Thunder Run River. It's got the consistency of human flour, but it's much tastier. There's a fishy, sour zing to it that you can't get anywhere else.*
*Now this was a little hard to find. I don't know you'll fare, but I got lucky. The Gibbering Mouse knew exactly where to dig some up. It was fuzzy and purple, but it smelled good. I threw the whole thing into the mix.*
1 Salted Melon
*The squishier the melon the more salty it is.*
1 Tin of Milk
*I got this out from the kitchen at Merrihaven. It was a bit yellow and the consistency was a bit lumpy, but it seemed to do the trick.*
1 Hair from a witch's leg
* The enchanted part comes from an ingredient I don't think any of you might be familiar with. It's probably best to leave it out. Who knows how a human might react to a witch's leg hair.
Throw all ingredients in a large bowl and smash it together. Once it's mixed well, pick it up and place it in the oven for a good hour. I think gnomes said that the cake is done when the top is burnt.
I pulled mine out once it started smoking. It was a taste explosion in my mouth.
I offered a piece to one of the gnomes, but unfortunately, he said he was still too full from last Sunday's roast, then ran away. The Gibbering Mouse was all too happy to try my cake. He was so in awe of my creation
that his eyes grew big, then he fell over. I haven't seen him for days.
That's it, my friends. Until next time....
(*Note from the author - Knoxby's recipes are fictional. Do not try them at home.
Troll food is pretty disgusting and will make you sick.)
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