Mibbitwiss and I were enjoying a pint of Bog ale at the pub when in walks an ogre. He was smaller than any ogre I'd ever seen. (Later, Mibbitwiss would inform me that the ogre was the "baby" of it's clan)
The ogre's beady eyes grew beadier as he searched the pub for his intended target. His eyebrows came together to make one long hairy caterpillar.
"I have a feeling this is going to be good," whispered Mibbitwiss.
"Why do you say that?" I asked.
He pointed to the darkest corner of the pub. I could barely make out the outline of a table. "Johnny Two-Toes," he said.
I had no idea who Johnny Two-Toes was, so I shrugged and waited for an explanation.
"You don't know who Johnny Two-Toes is?" he asked, with a roll of his eyes. "Just watch."
The ogre roared and swung its club. The patrons ducked under the tables. The barkeep disappeared behind the bar. My brother and I stayed right where we were. Mibbitwiss grabbed a jar of pickled boars' feet and settled back to watch the show.
The ogre stomped towards the back of the pub. I made up my mind that Johnny Two-Toes was about to be flattened, then wondered if the ogre would attack the rest of us.
Before the ogre reached the back corner, Johnny Two-Toes jumped up on the table. I almost choke on my ale at the sight of him. He definitely had two toes; one on each foot. He was small and thin. If I blew a hard enough breath, he'd probably fall over. I had to give him credit, though. He stared the ogre in the eye and stood with the confidence of a man three times his size.
The ogre raised his club over his head and growled. The pub filled with the ogre's underarm stench. Johnny was off that table and flying through the air. His two toes connected with the ogre's eyes. The club fell to the floor with a thud. Johnny was a blur as he fought the ogre. I've never seen anyone move so fast. He jumped to the floor, broke the club over his tiny knee and used a shard to poke the ogre in the rear; herding him out the door.
"Did you see that?" asked Mibbitwiss. "I told you it was going to be good." He nudged me in the arm. "You thought Johnny was a goner, didn't you?"
The pub exploded in cheers as Johnny walked through the door.
Mibbitwiss slid off his stool. "Let me buy you a drink, Johnny."
"Much obliged old friend." I couldn't help staring down at the little man. He glanced up at me.
"How?" I asked.
Mibbitwiss handed him a pint of ale that was almost as big as he was. He looked up at me and shrugged. "Without his club, that ogre is defenseless." He disappeared into the crowd of well-wishers.
"That was amazing," said Mibbitwiss.
I agreed. It was amazing and not something I'd soon forget. I wonder where Johnny Two-Toes is now.
I guess it's best not to judge, the consequences may be two toes to the eyes.
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